over 200 pounds | Ask The Shoe Lady

For The Shoe Lady-
I am 56 years trying to get my groove back. I wear 13ww or 14 in size I am 6’1″, 245lbs need shoes! I want to look good and sexy as well. don’t like real high heels all the time, but would like 3″ heels. need all kind of sandals regular and sexy. love all kind of boots please help.

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Dear Shirley,

Your note has been forwarded to me, The Shoe Lady, and I find it to be a totally delicious invitation to advise you on all kinds of aspects of your life. The Shoe Lady likes to think that she knows more about advice giving and feels hemmed in by the assumption that she should limit herself only to shoe advice. So we will start at the top, work through the middle and end up with shoe advice. Here is your 8 point plan to get your groove back (a goal that I agree with completely).

1. Sleep. You are at that age where you may find yourself waking up at 3 AM and staring at the ceiling. 7+ hours is very important to avoid dark circles under the eyes and maintain your charming personality. Don’t do sleeping pills. Ask your doctor about warm milk, cold bedrooms, hot baths, gabapentin, etc.
2. Hair. Find a friend or a professional or a professional friend that can advise you on your face shape and whether you will look better with hair pulled back, cut short, chin length? Get a good cut styled to flatter your face and your body size. Consider color. Personally I believe everyone looks better with a streak or two of purple in their hair. But it may not be for you.
3. Posture. Get those shoulders back. Stand up straight. Are you sure you are only 6’1″? Try for stretching to 6’2″. Related to posture, keep your joints limber so you walk and move smoothly. We’re talking gym time here. Yoga time too. Pilates. You get the picture.
4. Clothes Style. First assess your body shape. I’ll make it easy. Do you have a waist or not. If you do, consider styles that accentuate that. If you do not, consider straight tunic tops and light weight jackets that go to your hips.
5. Clothes Color. Have your colors done. Are you a summer? sping? fall? winter? Find your most flattering colors. Wear those only, especially near . Favorite color not on the list? Buy your shoes in that color.
6. Personal Style. Now assess your personality. Are you happiest in colorful clothes? Monochrome? Long flowing skirts? Tailored slacks? Pick a personality and dress to it. Have fun with it. Make sure you pick styles that are cut in a way that is flattering to your frame then play with color and style.
7. Food. Just like we’ve always heard, what we eat matters to how we look. Get enough calcium and enough oils. The mediterranean diet with fish and olive oil is a great choice.
8. Shoes. You thought I ‘d never get here?!
A. Shoe Size. PLEASE read my article about How to Measure your Feet. It is entirely possible that you are a 13WW or 14M, depending on the shoe shape. Most people do range over 2 to 3 size/width combinations. But I fear it is very likely that you’ve never had the chance to try on more shoes than the rare size 14. Let’s find out your best size and work from there.
B. Shoe Style. Now we are getting your groove back. Like your clothes, your shoes should match your personal style, what you feel comfortable in. We don’t want you trying to look like someone you saw in Vogue. We want you to look like a happy, healthy, groovy YOU. For every day wear shoes, for a woman approaching a certain age, I think it is important to wear shoes that you can stand in for an hour and walk in for at least 10 blocks. Look for thicker soles and heels that are under 1.5 inches. You can make them fun by getting colors, experimenting with contrasting colorful solids or print tights or socks. Look at Propet or Barefoot Tess for sizes 13WW or 14. For sandals, try Forgotten Soles and watch for larger sizes arriving soon in the Maasai sandals. For special occasions when you want the glamorous groovy, look at Samanta. The platform soles are easy on your feet, but the high heels should only be for special occasions. For cocktail party dressy, you will find a great selection of lower heeled strappy sandals and dressy slingbacks with Colorful Creations and Annie. Please write back in boot season and I’ll give you more suggestions. In general, find 13WW here and 14M here.